Why The Holidays Don’t Feel The Same Anymore (And How You Can Bring Back The Magic)

Christmas

May 13

The older we get, the more we hear “the holidays don’t feel like they used to.” We can chalk that up to aging, and having more responsibility, but yearning for past holidays seems to be a fairly new phenomenon - at least to the extent it’s at now. As millennials enter their mid 30s, early 40s, the call of nostalgia gets louder and louder.

One goal of this blog is to help bring back that old familiar feeling. Here are some reasons the holidays may not feel like they used to, and small changes you can make to bring back the holiday magic.

the pressure to buy everything new

When we were kids, our parent’s and grandparent’s holiday decor consisted of years worth of hand-me-downs, handmade items, family heirlooms, and maybe one or two new items each year. When we went to our grandparent’s house for Christmas dinner, we were greeted with the same holiday decor we saw every year. The table would be set in the same Christmas dishes and hand sewn placemats it always was. Christmas music would be playing from the same vintage stereo-record player combo.

Seeing the same decor, hearing the same music, and smelling the same smells, helped create positive memories and expectations. It was comfortable and familiar. We knew that as soon as mom took out the Christmas Barbies, the holiday season was about to begin.

Now, we are bombarded with constant pressure to buy buy buy. New holiday decorating trends pop up every year, and influencers post haul after haul after haul, convincing us that we need to take part.

Quality has also taken a hit. The dollar stores have 3-4 aisles of cardboard and plastic decor for every holiday. When the next new trend comes around, piles and piles of these lower quality items are shipped off to thrift stores and landfills.

As a recovered holiday trend-follower, here are my suggestions:

If you want to switch up your decor, or buy new holiday items, try looking at thrift stores, estate sales, craft sales, your grandparent’s attic, etc. There is nothing better than finding a piece of decor that instantly transports you back to your childhood. As our parents and grandparents age, they may also be looking to downsize, and can pass along some items to you. Don’t feel pressure to hold to a certain aesthetic. In my opinion, the best holiday decor is a mash up of different time periods.
Try donating your unwanted items to people who need them. Instead of tossing things out, make a post on your local buy-nothing page, and see who could actually use the items from holiday trends you’re no longer interested in. Elementary school teachers, nursing homes, students just starting out, people starting over, etc, may love the items that no longer bring you joy.
Don’t fall victim to new decor trends. If you’re changing your holiday decor every single year, you won’t be able to create the same familiar feeling we had when we were younger. That feeling comes from the excitement and joy of hauling out the same holiday treasures year after year. You don’t necessarily have to pick a colour theme and stick with it forever, but the majority of your decor should be good quality staples that you’ve carefully curated over the years.

The Realization that as adults, we have to create the magic

If you click on any holiday nostalgia video on TikTok, the comment section will be filled with comments like “we can never get that feeling back”, or “the holidays just aren’t the same anymore.” With that feeling, then comes the realization that as adults, it’s now our job to make the holidays feel magical. Our children deserve the same level of holiday magic that we felt as children. Things can never be exactly the same, and that’s okay. With time, comes new traditions, and we blend them with old traditions to create excitement and wonder for the holiday season.

We’re busier than we used to be

One reason previous generations were able to create the ultimate holiday season for us, is because many of our grandmothers (and some of our mothers) were stay-at-home wives. They worked harder than us in many ways, but we have to acknowledge that being free from a 9-5 did give them more time to decorate, bake, and wrap presents. Our working parents didn’t have the same luxury, but still came home after work, and baked cookies, watched movies with us, and strung christmas lights on the weekend. Side note, they also didn’t have social media addictions, and handheld devices keeping them distracted 24/7.

When we were kids, we didn’t have to worry about anything, because it was taken care of for us. The holiday decorating was already done, and all we had to do was relax and enjoy it. If you’re a working parent, you know how exhausting it is to work all day, take your kid to sports and activities, come home and cook and clean, help with homework, etc. It leaves little time for creating holiday magic. But, they did it, and for the sake of holiday magic, we have to too.

We’re Missing People Around The Table

The older we get, the more people we lose, and the more longing we have for the way things used to be. When our grandparents pass, we lose the glue that held our family together. Instead of having Christmas dinner at your grandparent’s house with your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins - suddenly everyone is doing their own thing. Your aunt is suddenly having dinner at your cousin’s house with her new spouse. Your sibling decides that maybe this year they’ll stay in their college town instead of coming home. Little by little, everything you once held dear about the holidays, changes shape into something you don’t recognize anymore.

Add the actual grief of losing loved ones into the mix, and the holidays can feel pretty depressing at times.

So what can we do?

Blend old traditions with new. You may not be able to spend Christmas at your grandparent’s house, but you can still use your nan’s favourite recipes. You can drink pop from the fanciest green wine glasses, like she used to do. You can play your father’s favourite Christmas record during dinner, and read your kids the same Christmas books before bed. People may pass away, but love never dies and traditions built from love don’t have to die either.
Honour their memory. We can include our loved ones in the holidays, even if they aren’t physically with us anymore. Make a memory stocking, hang pictures from previous holidays with them, decorate with special pieces you inherited, or hang an ornament in their memory.
Embrace the change, and switch things up. Maybe it’s too painful to try and carry on old traditions, without the people who started them. This might be the perfect time to try something new. Take a trip, try some new recipes, or start new traditions with your kids this year. Eventually, you’ll be able to circle back to remembering your loved ones with happy nostalgia instead of sad.

We’re missing human connection

Do you remember being a kid, and going shopping with your parents at the mall before Christmas? The ceilings were decorated, Christmas music was playing, and the halls were packed with other shoppers. The store windows all had Christmas displays, and sparkly New Years Eve dresses, and you’d point out things that you wanted, then your parents would circle back later and buy them in secret. You’d meet your grandparents in the food court for dinner and hot chocolate after, and have your picture taken with Santa before going home.

There was electricity in the air, a magical buzz that only shopping in December could have. Families in matching Christmas sweaters would be getting their pictures taken at Sears, and the Red Cross donation volunteer would be ringing their bell outside the store. Your parents were always able to donate, because they always carried cash and had purses and pockets full of change.

You knew you were guaranteed to run into someone that you knew, and you looked forward to it. You’d talk about your plans for the holidays, and excitedly show off what you bought.

My, how things have changed. Now, we actively avoid crowded malls, and the thought of running into someone we know out in public- our worst nightmare. We no longer need to go to the mall, because we can have anything we want delivered to us in 2 days. We can’t donate to the Red Cross bell ringer because we never have cash on us anymore. We don’t even carry cards anymore, because we have Apple Pay now.

We’re missing out on something that we used to look forward to every holiday season, and we’re doing it to ourselves. I’ve been going to estate sales a lot lately, and one thing I’ve grown to love about them, is the human connection. Waiting in line with strangers, getting to know people, seeing the same familiar faces at many of the sales and excitedly showing them the treasures we found afterwards. The human connection makes the entire experience even more exciting.

It’s fun to post photos of things we buy online, and get feedback through social media, but it’s SO much better in person.

Some ways you can embrace more human connection this year:

Go shopping in person. Not just to the mall, but also to the little local shops downtown. Make an afternoon of it. Get a hot chocolate at a local cafe, talk a snowy walk to a local toy store, and actually talk to the people you encounter.
Carry cash. The holiday season is the perfect time to donate your spare change. If you don’t have change, make some. You’re guaranteed to encounter people ringing bells, and sports teams looking for donations, or school kids trying to finance an end of year trip.
Host your friends and family. There are lots of fun little get-togethers you can plan during the holiday season. Since everyone is usually busy during this time, entice them by blending fun with something on their to-do list. For example, host a cookie exchange to help each other cut down on holiday baking. Since gift wrapping can be hard with little ones in the house, invite your friends over for a gift wrapping night.
Go to events in your city. Christmas tree lightings, Christmas markets, winter carnivals, musicals, concerts, etc are a great way to enjoy some holiday magic outside of the house.

Comparison is the thief of joy

We can try our best not to compare ourselves with others, but social media makes it nearly impossible. When we were kids, nobody was trying to have a more aesthetically pleasing Christmas tree than people they haven’t talked to in 10 years. Now, everyone is in a constant panic to be the best mom, have the best decor, the best Christmas lights, the trendiest ornaments, give the most gifts. Our parents were getting decorating ideas from magazines and home decorating shows. We’re getting ours from video after video after video on TikTok and post after post after post on Instagram. We have 20 different people a day telling us what’s “in” this year. Who even gets to decide that, anyway?

You see the influencer who buys $500 worth of new Christmas decor every single year, and it makes you wonder why you even bother to put out your old red and green ornaments.

Some things to realize are:

Decor trends don’t matter. Just because someone at a big box store decided that brown velvet ornaments are the “latest trend,” doesn’t mean that you have to take part. Trends are designed to make consumers feel like they have to constantly purchase the latest and greatest thing.
Influencers are paid to tell you what you “should be” buying. They pull you in with a great video hook, and wave piles of new decor and clothes in your face, gushing over how you should “run don’t walk” to the store immediately to get these items, because they “WILL sell out!” It creates a sense of urgency and FOMO, and before you know it, you’re rushing to the store for a haul of your own. Maybe at some point, you’ll find inspiration from this blog, but I never want you to feel like you HAVE to buy something that I share here.
Every household has different budgets and different ideas of what Christmas should look like. There will always be someone who has a bigger house and more presents under the tree. This isn’t something you can change, but you can change your reaction to it. Part of the reason the holidays felt so magical when we were kids, is because we weren’t comparing our Christmas to our friend’s Christmas. Sure, we might have briefly chatted about what we got when we went back to school, but the conversations were kept within our own circles. We didn’t have instant access to immediately see what everyone else was doing through pictures and videos online.

Embrace fun and family

The main thing I remember about the holidays as a kid, was how much fun we had. For all the Black Friday shopping trips I took with my mom and nan, I can’t remember anything that we bought, but I can remember how much we laughed on the car ride home. I can’t remember every gift my nan ever bought me, but I can remember her musical Christmas tree lights, and the songs they played. At the annual midnight madness shopping nights in our hometown, I can’t remember the sales we encountered, but I remember drinking apple cider at the tree lighting with my friends.

Making the holidays feel like they used to, isn’t just about decor and tradition. It’s about taking the time to enjoy the season, in whatever ways give us that old familiar feeling. It’s remembering that we’re the adults now, and it’s our job to create the same feelings of happy nostalgia for our kids, so when they grow up, they look back at these days with fondness.

Please comment below with your favourite holiday memory!

Special note: At The Merrymake Club, we don’t believe in using AI for writing, so all of our posts are 100% written by the author. Yes, we really are just that witty.